i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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