So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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