If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
