I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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