You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
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Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
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The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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