I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
