SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
