how hairy? two words: wookie tits
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
