oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize