hell yes lets make some ravioli
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
