How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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