The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
