Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
