I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
