escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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