Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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