i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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