hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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