I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
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