Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
