i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
