how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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