why didn't you poke me back
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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