that's an acceptable place to lick
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize