Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
