People in love make me want to vomit
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
