I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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