i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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