ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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