At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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