so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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