thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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