I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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