I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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