i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
