Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
