My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
