I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
