If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
