: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
