I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
