What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
