anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
