We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
do nipples grow back?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
