That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
