i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
