You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
