I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
