she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
