How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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