I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize