i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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