I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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