No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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