My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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