sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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