I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
