dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
