At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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