I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
