my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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