I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s