he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
from now on my penis is your penis
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to