O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.