Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
