We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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