soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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