can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
