What a fucking waste of an outfit
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
