If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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