Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm bleeding and have questions
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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