Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
