small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Randomize
