Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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